Family Ties
I was lounging on the couch in the living room with my roommate/cousin just talking about memories we have growing up of our family. The annual tradition of our family going to our beloved Chinese restaurant with all 15 immediate family members for a feast like no other.
Side note: I never liked going here. I love different nations and cultures' food as much as the next guy, but this place was just not it.
But as my cousin and I continued on in conversation, it began to dawn on the both of us on why we share so much of our innate personality traits that come so naturally. Our origins have the same roots of the same set of grandparents raising us for a large portion of our childhood.
Our sense of humor, the kinds of foods we enjoy, even the vocations we want all stem largely from our grandparents. Our family of origin is the greatest force in our lives whether we want that to be true or not. It’s where we learn our history, where we pickup our habits and mannerisms that make us who we are, and learn to be a person that functions in this world.
May the stories shared and truths told be a beacon for how you can both learn who I am and learn more about yourself along the way.
THE GIFT OF PARENTS
I’ve always felt this kind of weird tension when talking about my parents. Mainly because I always felt like I had the kind of parents that people always dreamed of. Two people who love each other, love me, support me, and did everything in their power to give me the kind of life they never had. I lacked for nothing, felt love every day, and was shown love in even the smallest of details. I was (and am) truly blessed. By no means was my life or my parents perfect, but they were present and tried their best.
It wasn’t rare to see my father writing a handwritten note or surprise my mom with flowers on a special day or big occasion. Seeing my mother support my dad when he would run his Ironmans and half-marathons was as normal as taking a breath. Looking to the side of an audience and seeing my parents at all of my sporting events was the norm for me too. Love was as normal as drinking water in the middle of a bright summer day in the midst of a 100 degree weather in good ole Dallas, Texas.
So much of how I try to show love and appreciation to others is by sharing kind words and showing up to the big occasions in others lives along with small ones that are often forgotten. I’m not nearly as good at it as I wish I was or as what I saw growing up, but I try my best.
Along with the good comes the reality that we are all imperfect people, including those we love dearly. I love to argue over semantics, I tend to overthink to the point of not doing anything in fear of doing it wrongly, I lash out larger than what is called for, and I have a tendency to declare myself right even when faced with clear opposition that says otherwise. All of which aren’t inherently unique to me, but I inadvertently picked up along the way.
This isn’t to blame others for my faults, it’s simply acknowledging that I am a culmination of the environment around me, just like you. Maybe you have a story like mine or seemingly storybook parents or you have a family that you wish to separate yourself from as far as you can. Know that you will pick up the characteristics that your family has and that it’s normal.
Also know that through Christ you can and will be made new. Your character will resemble Christ in your own unique way that God has made you. You will take on the traits of humility, hospitality, gentleness, self-control, and more through daily abiding with God. You are not bound by the family of origin you came from, but you are responsible for who you become once you’ve come to Christ. So take heart and know that change is possible because of the God who cares infinitely for you and your soul.
PRAYER
God, thank you for my family. From the good to the bad, thank you for giving me exactly what I needed so that I could one day find you. Every moment of my life was aimed towards finding you and your divine love. From the parents you gave me, the aunts and uncles who drove me crazy, it was all a part of your divine plan that led me to you. It’s by the power of your spirit that I pray. Amen.