O God, Let Me Suffer

Living in America is one of the greatest blessings that I didn’t even ask for. I’ve lived a life of relative ease, minimal to no religious persecution, a safe haven from any threat of violence, and so much more. It’s honestly a bit blissful. But, there’s something that a life of ease oftentimes forgets or takes for granted: the gift of suffering. I know, kinda weird. Who likes to suffer? In our flesh it's not enjoyable, easy, and takes us away from the comfort we all desire. But there’s a kind of suffering that leads to the utmost of joys. When your flesh fails and it feels as though death is but a beat away, from where will you fix your gaze? When your friends and family revile, who will be the person whom you lay your lofty head upon? When you’re in a daze of utter confusion and chaos with no end in sight, who will you look for to slow your anxious thoughts and provide you peace? These kinds of tribulations and hardships tend to force us to put feet to the faith we say we owe our allegiance to. A Christian doesn’t truly know where we are in our development with God until we’re pressed to our core. Not inconvenienced, not slightly disturbed, but pressed to the point that the polished and self-controlled you isn’t at the forefront of what others see, but the you behind closed doors is what comes out. The scary question to ask is, would you be proud of that person? Do you only act godly when you’ve had 8 hours of sleep, a nice quiet time in the morning, and maybe some encouraging text throughout the day? Do you bleed joy and graciousness when you’re late to work, had an argument with your spouse, and tired beyond belief? I’m not trying to shame you or guilt you into a better morality, I’m just merely exhorting and bringing awareness to what God calls you to do, empowers you to be, and gives a new perspective. 

Luckily we have a plethora of examples to pull from but I’ll highlight a few that have left a memory in my heart. The story of Stephen has been a passage of scripture that always draws me back to itself. He’s a man who was filled with the Spirit and spoke wisdom in such a way that he caught the attention of everyone around him. Stephen spoke clearly, boldly, and with the purpose of making known that Jesus himself was the Christ that the world had long awaited for. Yet, he was imprisoned and eventually became a martyr. The beauty comes in his final moments right before his stoning, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them,” mirroring the final words of Jesus himself when he cried “Father forgive them; for they know not what they do.” A man on the literal brink of death, filled with the Spirit, and his last proclamation before he falls asleep into the arms of the Lord is to ask for forgiveness for the ones who killed and reviled him. 

Another being Dietrich Bonhoeffer, maybe you’ve heard of him, maybe you haven’t, but his life was remarkable. He was a theologian whose life goal was to embody the very faith that he so fervently believed in. He was born during the time of the third reich in Germany and eventually fled to New York City to avoid the devastation. Yet he felt a rumbling and disunity in his spirit. He felt a call to return home. Even though the whole country was in the control of Hitler and knew what it may cost to go back, he felt the Lord calling him. So his three year adventure to New York quickly turned into a twenty six day rendezvous back to his homeland where he fought to uplift the soul of his nation. He was eventually imprisoned due to teaching the Bible to others. Yet during his time in prison, he wrote poems to God screaming of the freedom he would soon experience in his imminent death by the Nazis that spoke of the nearness of God and the joy of having been led to help those around him for the sake of the Gospel. I can’t imagine the type of bravery that must’ve taken, yet he counted it as an honor and joy. I so wish my heart would yearn for that same type of desire.

I don’t mention these two people to put them on a pedestal, but actually the exact opposite. These were regular men. Men who loved God, cherished His word, led by the Spirit, yet regular people who faced suffering and saw it as pure joy. That can be you, Christian. Whether you’re someone who is well-versed in the art of suffering well, or you’re preparing yourself for when this day arrives, know that you can do this. Because God is with you not just in your greatest moments, but in your deepest sorrows, empowering you by His Spirit to know that your suffering is not in vain. Your suffering will produce perseverance, character, and hope. Hope not just for a better tomorrow, but for the perspective to know that God will be with you through it all for the betterment of your soul and the spread of His glory. God bless.